October 2008 - This Isn't What It Looks Like

For me there's always been something special about October. Most importantly, both my children are connected to this month. Richard and I were married 13 years before my daughter came along on a beautiful October day. The following year I found out I was pregnant with my son in the same month. There are several other important family happenings during October, including my own birthday. But since I can't keep claiming 39 forever, that day is starting to lose its excitement.

October is also the beginning of the holiday season for us. We're big celebrators of all the fall holidays - even Halloween - a time when you can be whoever you want for the day and no one really cares. We dress up, we bake, we decorate and we just have fun. We attend every fall get together we can find and take lots of photos.

On a real important note, this month also means the wildlife that usually hangs out at my house (like snakes) will soon be turning in for winter and hopefully letting me rest for a while. I can finally walk around the house not wearing gum boots and go to the bathroom without checking behind the commode before I set down.

For country folk, October also means the harvest season is officially over and there are many local festivals to celebrate it. Vegetables have been "put up" for the year, hay is stacked in fields and barns, fruits and berries stored, apple butter cooked. Even the wild crops have been gathered - nuts are in the freezer, ginseng dried, and herbs hanging high on the porch. For those who like the wild meats, squirrel and deer seasons are just around the corner. And, as my family recently came to realize, it's also harvest time for another well known crop - Marijuana.

Anyone who knows me knows if there's any luck in my hand it's bad luck - Murphy's Law if you will. I've often joked it wouldn't do me any good to win the lottery because I'd probably get ran over by a Mac truck on the way to claim my prize. The rescuers would be digging me out of the rubble with that ticket still clinched between cold and clammy fingers. If anything great falls in my lap, it seems to be attached to a black cloud and I eventually get wet. We've gotten used it, so it takes a big deal to faze us anymore.

The irony of this Marijuana story is that I really wouldn't know a pot plant if it fell on me. Matter of fact, I'd probably be the idiot who would find one in the wild, think it looked pretty cool, and unknowingly bring it home to plant in my yard. Or, give it to my kids to add to their leaf collections. I'm not sure the local 4-H leaders would take kindly to having it show up in a project book somewhere.

Richard had been itching all year to plant some sort of "food plot" to attract deer. I've listened to him recite every seed combination possible for weeks and he eventually settled on oats and turnips. It's not like deer don't have enough to eat already on our 90 wooded acres, but I guess this is like dessert or something special. We spent a small fortune on seeds, fertilizers and whatever else he could justify and waited for an evening after work to go sow it all.

Finally, a couple weeks back, we got home from work in enough time to have supper and load up for a trip on the hill. There were just a couple of hours before dark and we needed to find a location and clear an opening in the woods, stack the brush and plant all the seed. And, of course, just not any location would do. It had to be right in the middle of nowhere, because Heaven forbid, someone might accidentally stumble on this wonderful hunting opportunity that we were about to create!

We loaded up two four-wheelers with everything necessary, including a trailer to load brush onto. We grabbed some hats, lights and even a gun since our neighbor had spotted a bear on our property more than once in the last few weeks. It wasn't long after we picked a nice remote spot that we heard an unfamiliar sound in the air. It got louder and louder and I soon realized it was a helicopter, flying low, directly above our heads. The only time we've ever seen a chopper here was HealthNet picking up a medical patient, so I worried about who it was. It was making quite a stir and stuff blew everywhere. The kids thought it was cool. I was just happy to see a sign of civilization (I figured if nothing else, it would scare any wild animals lurking nearby). Richard was worried it would mess up his food plot.

A few minutes later we heard it coming back. It circled around and directly over a second time. I noticed this time it was not a medic copter, but couldn't see any markings on it at all. It seemed to hover for quite a while then turned back the way it came. We could still hear it close and it sounded like it was getting louder. We realized it was on top of the hill in our meadow - it was going to land there! Wow!

The kids went crazy. "Hurry, let's go to the meadow," my daughter pleaded. Richard and the kids decided to unhook the trailer and ride up there and take a look. I stayed behind, perched on my ride, browsing through the newspaper with my flashlight. No sooner than they went out of sight, it dawned on me - “That chopper thinks we're in a Marijuana patch!”

Did we look that suspicious or were they acting on an old tip? We knew the previous owner of the farm was quite peculiar. He seemed nervous about anyone being on his property. He had a makeshift security system installed around the old place, complete with a web of cables in all directions and cameras mounted in trees. Neighbors said he even at one time had blue tarps stretched like a tall fence around the house so no one could see inside. I always wondered what he was protecting.

So, did he cultivate a little cash crop on the side, too? A little weed to help pay the bills? If he did, there could be a few leftovers growing somewhere. So, if you don't know anything about the stuff and you find what you think is it, what do you do? Do you leave it alone and report it (try to explain that to the authorities)? Or, do you destroy it? I guess you could always burn it!!!

Sure enough, Richard and the kids came back a few minutes later to report that it didn't actually touch down, but was hovering over the meadow shining lights around. I guess it dawned on him, too. We quickly gathered our stuff and headed home. I was a little nervous about some law enforcement agent hopping out of nowhere, holding onto the one pot plant they happened to find on the farm from a leftover crop of yesteryear.

 We did make it home without incident. But, believe it or not, the chopper flew over again a couple days later. I was just waiting for someone to come knocking. Looking back, I'm sure we did look a little suspect. After all, we were in the middle of nowhere, in a clearing, with small lights attached to our heads (Richard had duct-taped a flashlight to his hat), cutting vegetation. We were loading the brush on the small trailer to take to the brush pile. This, happening at dusk when you couldn't see but a few feet in front of you. Richard had a rifle strapped to his back and we were near a field that hadn't been brush hogged all year, full of tall green foliage.

I've never seen a pot harvest before, but I can imagine the fellas in the whirlybird circling around us must have thought they had hit pay dirt (if they only knew!) Who knew making a deer plot could get so exciting. But, as luck would have it, we picked the wrong day to be in the woods. I was worried about making the local headlines. Richard was just hoping nobody had discovered his hunting spot.