Life seems to be all about balance. Once I was told that balance in life is impossible, but it is worth the effort to work towards anyway. Other wise, you will always feel lopsided. Balance with children seems to be an exceptionally challenging area. And parents feel lopsided quite often.

When our children are young we want to protect them from everything: the hot stove, the spinning fan, the jealous dog or the overbearing aunt. This is our responsibility as parents, but at the same time we are supposed to encourage their independence. Doing both at once would be balance. However, how do we know when to protect and when to let them explore unhindered? These I believe are age old questions that have no simple answers. We are entrusted with their little lives and we can only do the best we can.

This dilemma does not decrease in frequency when the little ones get bigger. As our children start school and spread their tiny wings, we quickly realize that any balance we had in their lives is gone. They are finding new challenges and new victories away from us. Now we must help them find balance in their individual lives. This assistance is for the rest of their lives, or so I am told by parents of 20, 30, 40, and 50 year olds.

All of us will be faced with the question of when to step in and when to stay out of our children's lives. Answering this question from the mind and not the heart is hard. None of us like to see our children hurting or dealing with a negative situation, especially if we can help (or think we can).

When we step in to a situation that they should be able to handle themselves, we accidently give the signal that we don't think our children are strong enough to handle it themselves. However, when we stay out of situations where they need our help, we accidently give the signal that we don't care. There we go with that balance thing again.

Dealing with the life situations as they occur is something all people have to do, young or old. Our responsibility as parents is to give our children the knowledge, self-confidence and tools they need to deal with situations on their own. That means that we have to be willing to step in and willing to stay out as each situation demands.

When tough times happen as they do with everyone, we need to be there to offer our life experience. Often we think our children don't listen, but that does not mean we should stop talking. Balance once again. A very wise person once told me that we have two ears and one mouth, and they should be used in that proportion. Balance.

By listening, sharing life experience and letting our children know we are always there even when we opt to stay out of their lives; they can build their own balance.

Many people far wiser than I have surely pondered the balance question. And I still think it is unanswerable for all situations. Balance to me is doing the best I know how and looking for guidance in trusted sources.